Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
