I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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