I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
