He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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