He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
her vagine was all disorganized.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
