fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize