Its about making memories worth repressing
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
