I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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