I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
