seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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