Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
