I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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