now i know why i became what i already was.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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