im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
