i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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