I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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