I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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