How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
