i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
