I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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