i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
