Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
