i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
