Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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