They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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