I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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