I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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