Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
