I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
