are you still at the devil's house?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
