Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
