Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
