had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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