I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
