Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
