Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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