You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
