A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
