pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
