I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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