i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
