So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
