I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
