wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
