whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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