I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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