hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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