Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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