I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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