We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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