Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
