i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the condom got lost in my hair
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
