all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm like, not good at living.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
