Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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