what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize