that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
