Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
