I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
